Optimistic

I knew you were an opportunist

I wanted the credit for saving your worthless soul

Optimism, and its downfalls:

My mistakes, my weakness

My lack of integrity, my ambition…

Thank you for the duly noted reflection

You care for no one but yourself, truly

Yes, I’m angry… at myself mostly

Naivety, when chosen, turns to bitterness

But this is my own now to face…

You cling to this image of yourself that you project

You’re not a whore

A whore provides a service in return

Your filth is worth less

You have nothing to offer (not of your wit anyway)

You are a taker

Like the vampiric words you choose

You suck people by the masses into your life

And then periodically weed those out

From which there is nothing further to suck

Or as they first begin to sense your sting

You’re a parasite, a barnacle, a tick, a leech

Take, take, take ~ all you can get

And what you give IS what you get

Upon its return

Like now when it rains, it pours

But I’m through

With ‘the benefit of the doubt’

And when we’re gone, too will be any truth

I’ve learned, I see

There is no benefit in this for me

Your blind eyes will never see

Go ahead ~ justify your cause

Cling to your offended words

Anything to re-establish your idealistic little world

Your life is a projection

Of someone you’d like others to believe you’ll become

Try looking into a mirror first

See the ways you disregard

Acting as if you’re evolved

You fucking disappoint me

And I’m ashamed to say it

But I’ll say it anyway

I have nothing to lose

Cause even as I thought I’d wait for you

My fucking stupid ass remembers it’s MY life

And MY freedom to choose

So when you eventually hit the ground

And land on a mirror that was broken long before

The reflection you see won’t be that of a whore

Seven more years of karmic justice

For your bloodsucking, justified soul

That’s for sure

The energy that’s bleeding from that hole in your gut

Is only going back to its source

This may be the last bit of reflection

You’ll ever get from inside this little circle

But I guarantee it won’t be the last

Until the day you look in the fucking mirror

ⓒ 2005 Shawn Michael Quinn