Tomorrow is a promise to no one.. And none of us knows when it's our day to go. None of us knows if we'll make it through this era. There are a few things I do know.. I know I have no regrets, not a single one. Every 'mistake' I've ever made was poetry, designed to inspire the paint, the brush, and the canvas that came together to create what I understood as my life in this incarnation. I have lived, and I have loved, and I have bled, and I have cried, and I have swung my sword, and I have fought the fight, and I have believed in love and light and life. I have indulged and deprived. I have starved and lived gluttony. I have breathed from a center, and also writhed in envy. I have been proud and boastful. I have reveled in my own obnoxiousness, and I have laughed, uproariously. I have made love, and loved passionately. I have succumbed to numbness, and I have isolated. I have traveled and seen beauty that could barely be explained. I have seen through the veil of this life. I have seen what is understood as heaven, and I have burned in the pits of my own hell. And I have experienced everything in-between. I have been humbled by the simplest of things as birds and squirrels. I have fought, and kicked the shit out of people. I have also had the shit kicked out of me. I've broken bones and broken hearts. I've had my heart ripped out, and handed to me. I have been betrayed, and I have betrayed. I have had best friends turn their backs on me, without word or warning. And I regret nothing. I would trade nothing. I am grateful for every moment that I have been blessed enough to embrace, and also every single moment I have ever wasted - for it was mine to waste. And for that I am grateful. Nothing can be taken from me, nothing.
For those connections of my life, those here, and those who have gone, either by their breathe exhausted, or by choice to journey other pathways, I am grateful. To my family, my sisters, my aunts & uncles, my cousins, my nieces and nephews, my brothers in arms, my friends, all of my extensions, and even those I might have considered nemesis, thank you, for I am truly grateful, and you were truly loved.. Your gifts didn't go unnoticed. Your comforts and camaraderie have served me. I pause now, and honor each of you, from my heart, and my mind, and my memories. I am with you, and you are with me, eternally.
I have read beautiful books; Whitman, Dostoyevsky, Castaneda, Kazantzakis, Vonnegut, Daniel Quinn... I have watched so many movies that brought me to tears. And music, fuck - god - hell - I can't even begin to express my gratitude for the music I have absorbed and that has moved me throughout this life... but; Florence, Tori, Tom Waits, Lanegan, Cohen, Nick Cave, Peter Gabriel, Maynard, Chino, Clutch, Jack White, Stapleton, Dylan, Springsteen, Bjork, Shawn Smith, and the list goes on & on.. Thank you, life, for your medicines, for the ceremonies I have been blessed enough take part in, with Ayahuasca, Peyote, Magick Mushrooms, Kambo, Rapé, Sananga, San Pedro, among the many others.. The gifts this planet has to offer, the magick, the medicine, the marvel that is this life... I am eternally grateful.
And Sofia, I love you, more than you you'll ever know. Maybe you'll get it the day you, too, have children, but I doubt even then. I have a child, and yet every day I feel I understand deeper levels of the way my father loves me.. But you know what, that's okay my love. Some things can never truly be absorbed or comprehended.. Each of us, as we are born, creates their own universe in this multiverse of existence. And we all coexist as our universes coexist and create this eternal ever evolving web that interlocks life and love and eternity.. Be humbled. Be grateful. And Be love itself. Let it bleed from every pore of your skin, and shine from every beat of your heart, and every breathe of your eyes, and every spark in your smile! Go for walks in the wilderness, or even in your neighborhood, look for the fallen feathers of birds, pick them up and savor the gift that it has fallen into your path. Realize that nothing is given and everything is given, simultaneously. Know your worth, nothing and everything, all at once.. Let the contradictions collapse within you.. See the Divinity in everything, including yourself. Be with God not only in your sadness, but in your happiness, share with him like you would share with a best friend, and if ever you lose sight of that connection, simply close your eyes and know that it is you, a part of you, and is up to you. Have faith, and live, knowing that one day, you will die, and that this is what makes life beautiful. This is the design, and this is the why!
Live! Live responsibly, but Live!! You will die.. But will you really truly live?
