When they leave..
The evening fell just like a star, left a trail behind
You spit as you slammed out the door
If this is love we're crazy as we fight like cats and dogs
But I just know there's got to be more..
So please call me baby, wherever you are
It's too cold to be out walking in the streets
We do crazy things when we're wounded
Everyone's a bit insane
I don't want you catching your death of cold
Out walking in the rain
I admit that I ain't no angel
I admit that I ain't no saint
I'm selfish and I'm cruel but you're blind
If I exorcise my devils, well my angels may leave too
When they leave, they're so hard to find...
So please call me baby, wherever you are
It's too cold to be out walking in the streets
We do crazy things when we're wounded
Everyone's a bit insane
I don't want you catching your death of cold
Out walking in the rain
We're always at each other's throats
It drives me up the wall
Most of the time I'm just blowing off steam
And I wish to God you'd leave me
And I wish to God you'd stay
Life's so different than it is in your dreams
So please call me, baby, wherever you are
It's too cold to be out walking in the streets
We do crazy things when we're wounded
Everyone's a bit insane
I don't want you catching your death of cold
Out walking in the rain..
Lip-Service to Purpose
I get why so many people are talking about gun control. What I don't understand is why the mental health issue is not getting equal attention from the media and social commentary. I have known people close to me who knew they were ill (mentally) and tried to have themselves committed so they could focus on getting better without the pressures of survival in the everyday society we are all forced to take part in. What prevented them from doing so was that unless a person is deemed a 'danger to others' by some authority recognized by the insurance companies, then that person cannot remain in a mental health institution for more than 3 weeks before being forced out because the insurance company pulls the financing of the care. Why the government hasn't or won't do anything about this is nothing less than corporate interest. These horrific things continue to happen and will continue to happen until we as a society start demanding our civil servants focus on what's best for the people and their health instead of allowing special interests to influence policy based on anything less!
So if you question why or how the recent horrific events happened, this might extend some insight.. Put your lip service to purpose and take 5 minutes to read it:
No Easy Way Out
when the universe whispers in your ear.. and you have no idea what it means
but you go with it all the same
The Other Side
Salt
Crystalizing the moments
Rocks
Seemingly destruct
Grinding
The comforts of the body
Manifest
The building blocks
Of the will
Milk
Filling the glass
White
Seemingly untouched
Nectar
For the Gods
Blanketing
The truths
Of the heart
Breath
Moving the clouds
Forces
Seemingly invisible
Life
Without form for the eyes
Pulsing
The seasons
Of the mind
Fire
Burning the pages
Alive
Seemingly ablaze
Cleansing
In the eyes of the Gods
Purging
The poisons
Of the soul
Ether
Holding the beauty
Empty
Seemingly nonexistent
Whispered
Into everything
Becoming
The purpose
Of the spirit
When I touch salt, I feel my bones ache...
And when I taste milk, I understand the sacrifice
When I hear breath, I know that I'm alive
But when I see fire, I know what it means to fight
And when I smell ether, I'm reminded of my other side
ⓒ 2012 Shawn Michael Quinn
Crystalizing the moments
Rocks
Seemingly destruct
Grinding
The comforts of the body
Manifest
The building blocks
Of the will
Milk
Filling the glass
White
Seemingly untouched
Nectar
For the Gods
Blanketing
The truths
Of the heart
Breath
Moving the clouds
Forces
Seemingly invisible
Life
Without form for the eyes
Pulsing
The seasons
Of the mind
Fire
Burning the pages
Alive
Seemingly ablaze
Cleansing
In the eyes of the Gods
Purging
The poisons
Of the soul
Ether
Holding the beauty
Empty
Seemingly nonexistent
Whispered
Into everything
Becoming
The purpose
Of the spirit
When I touch salt, I feel my bones ache...
And when I taste milk, I understand the sacrifice
When I hear breath, I know that I'm alive
But when I see fire, I know what it means to fight
And when I smell ether, I'm reminded of my other side
ⓒ 2012 Shawn Michael Quinn
Love This
If I should see you in the sky
I will look up, I will look up with some delight
I'll probably ask you shit you heard a million times
How many parts of things I do would you consider crimes?
I'll ask you which way I should go
Even if you answer, I won't trust you in my soul
I'm only human, I watch stories on TV
They give me an ending when an ending's all I need
You don't know how much I love this
You don't know how much I love this
So many lines I've had to cross
Don't wanna belong to a club with such a lenient boss
Get your ass down here, reprimand me for my sins
How can I know reason if no reason's why I've been
How come every man ain't good?
If it happened over night, would you retire if you could?
If I believe in heaven, I deny myself a death
Dying keeps me conscious of the way I waste my breath
You don't know how much I love this
You don't know how much I love this
You don't know how much I love this
You don't know how much I love this
So you'll tell me how it is
But what if how it is does not agree with how I live?
Should I admit the path I'm on is not the best?
Should I join your super highway 'cause you say that it's correct?
Just want an answer I can trust..
Things I should be doing ain't the some as things I must
Tony Soprano is a teacher I respect
He's always been there when I take a nasty step
You don't know how much I love this
You don't know how much I love this
You don't know how much I love this
You don't know how much I love this
So I don't think we should confer
Let's just grab a cup of coffee, get fair trade if you'd prefer
You'll look at me ways that I've never looked at you
And I'll step back still wondering what you're thinking I should do
You don't know how much I love this
~Cosmo Jarvis
The Holy
Encasing the varying illusions all around us
Fabricating an elaborate design
Made true by civilizations eye
The matrix of a world made flesh
Sculpting outlines of the divine
Mingling haze
Like clouds in my coffee
Foolishly looking for signs
Too distracted to sit still
Too addicted to the indulgences
Of the will
Too submissive to the sneering of the logic
Too easily open to the becoming ills
But in a moment set free
Become one with the fire of life itself
The separate reality
A day to pray for
Manifest
The Holy
ⓒ 2012 Shawn Michael Quinn
The Devil, Evil, Hell, and even Sin
So last night I changed my
Facebook profile from the classic view to the timeline view, finally… I found
an image of a classic Bukowski quote and made it my ‘cover’ photo:
So I wake this morning to
find my born-again-aunt has commented on it:
“That is the description of rebellion. Death is reality. There is
no pleasure in the death of the wicked. But they will burn in the Lake of Fire
rejecting the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross at Calvary. For all
those who oppose the God of the Universe and choose to believe a lie --- will
burn in the lake of Fire, where there is torment continually for eternity.”
Jesus… Fucking… Christ…
There are just so many things I want to say to this that my dick is fucking
hard! REALLY? REALLY?? I mean, REALLY???
It’s not even a religious comment.
He’s talking about living life to the fullest, about questioning the man
made systems that oppress the soul, the churches, the governments, and the
schools that teach us not to step out of line, to follow their rules, their
fears, their loss of heart, soul, spirit and rebellion.
From now on, if anyone
leaves me a comment like this or Makes
a comment like this, no matter who you Think
you are in my life, be it my Grandmother, my father, a blood relative, a
married-in-aunt, or the mother of a significant other, it is officially ON! And
if you choose to anyway, while I’ll respect your daring moment, when you get
served, remember it was YOU who opened this door…
So don’t talk to me about
‘Lakes of Fire” And don’t fucking think about sharing with me how you “Know I’m
living in Sin.” I’ve read your bible,
cover to cover. I’ve read your
qur’an, cover to cover. All I see,
all I read, all I hear is the oppression and fear. Words of men creating gods out of better men, betraying
them, betraying their messages, betraying their own hearts. I don’t believe in your devil, your
idea of evil, hell or even sin, at least not your simple-minded understanding
of these concepts. I don’t believe
in man made gods, not Mohammad, not Buddah, and Not Jesus, of Nazareth… I do
not believe in gods of fear, a god who could threaten lakes of fire for the
‘wicked,’ where there is torment
continually for eternity. I Spit
in the Mouth of a God like this! A
doG like this deserves nothing less than protest, rebellion and DEFIANCE! A doG like this is wickedness,
manifest. And like any man on
earth who threatens such things, in the name of God or otherwise, is
wicked. This is your God? Or is this your mother’s God? And her mother’s God? And so on and so on… You never
questioned it? Thomas comes to
mind… This doG who whispers into
the ears of children, tells them to stay in line, because on either side is
that lake of fire, children frighten easily, don’t they? As do sheep.
But no man has ever seen
these lakes of fire, at least not in anything other than a vision. I too have had visions. I’ve seen the center of the
Universe. I’ve seen the nature of
our true God. And I have seen this
place you would call hell. I can
tell you this, with certainty, You do Not understand the concepts you attempt
to preach. In the words of Bob
Dylan, “In a soldier’s stance I aimed my hand at the mongrel dogs who teach,
fearing not I’d become my enemy in the moment that I preach.” And so I choose not to tell others how
to live their lives. You
Christians can’t seem to grasp this concept though, can you? Every time you hear the word God, you
equate it with your religion. You
snack on a little piece of knowledge and equate it to wisdom… Live and let live. But no, that’s not enough for you
Christians, for any of you so self-hypnotized by your organized religion. You need to save other souls. You need to stack those rewards for
your ‘afterlife.’ You need a seat
that much further from fire…
I suppose it’s a path. I suppose even this path serves a
purpose to some souls. I don’t
claim to understand it and so I don’t often try to… It just pisses me off when
people come around pushing their ridiculous dogmatic religious crap on me, or
others. Anyone, and I mean Anyone,
today or 2000 years ago, who claims to
Know more about God, Heaven, Hell, or the Afterlife than anyone else is
Full Of Shit, period! No one knows
anything with certainty, No One!
Here’s another good (and related) Bukowski quote:
Look, I believe in
Love. I believe in God, a God that
is Love, that is part of each and every one of us, that is part of everything
there is, and isn’t. I believe
Jesus was divine, but no more divine than every single one of us. I don’t believe humanity needs or ever
needed a savior. And I’ll not let
a savior define my spirit’s freedom.
I will always Rebel, Defy, and Protest against the person, the
organization or the system itself, that wants to cage it. I believe we pray to the same God but
its obvious that our perception of that God is very different. I can live and let live with this, can
you? This is how humanity can kill
war! This is how we can live our
lives so well that Death will tremble to take us and God’s light of love will
smile upon us.
Fool Divine
And I sometimes start to think that I've somehow figured something out
And through that revelation, or moment of reflection
I actually start to think I may have divined a map of how
To better my life, or to make some change
And then, the optimism sets in..
As if I've actually decided that its time to win
But experiences, habits, and the tendencies within
Serve their holiday in Saturnalia's sun
Catering the fool's feast, hand and foot
Unbalancing the pieces so the contest is won
The best of days.. to this myriad of slaves
Soon to wake to the disillusioned find
That its probably better to leave
Divination to the divine..
And since the beginning of time
As a species we've obsessed
Over the ability to see through time
Studying the past, the stars, the seasons
Preaching the word after making up the reasons
Means with purpose to end
This eternal hunger
The burden for ourselves to fend
To hunt, gather, forage and procreate
To make sense of the melancholia
To simply survive the night
But life has always been hard
This is one thing the past has certainly shown
...and further musings of the fool's faith ~
That maybe this is the reason that we've come
Most of us actually believe we've evolved since then
300,000 years under this same sun
We now hunt for sport
And gather only information
The concept of foraging is beyond foreign
We even believe that culture is divided by our nation
Yet daily we're still desperate to divine
Even the atheists among us attempt to possess this power
Whether it be from finding the fastest way home from work
Predicting the weather, or reading the eyes of a lover
We have not changed
...Nor will we.
Even accepting this fate
Will not ease the mind.. nor keep us safe
There is no quarter given for the slave or his hand
Nor power given, divine or otherwise, to monkey or man
Because we are still simple creatures
Whether dwelling in caves, or buying & selling land
And so I sit back, stalking Saturnalia's smile
Who I am betraying myself all the while
ⓒ 2012 Shawn Michael Quinn
And through that revelation, or moment of reflection
I actually start to think I may have divined a map of how
To better my life, or to make some change
And then, the optimism sets in..
As if I've actually decided that its time to win
But experiences, habits, and the tendencies within
Serve their holiday in Saturnalia's sun
Catering the fool's feast, hand and foot
Unbalancing the pieces so the contest is won
The best of days.. to this myriad of slaves
Soon to wake to the disillusioned find
That its probably better to leave
Divination to the divine..
And since the beginning of time
As a species we've obsessed
Over the ability to see through time
Studying the past, the stars, the seasons
Preaching the word after making up the reasons
Means with purpose to end
This eternal hunger
The burden for ourselves to fend
To hunt, gather, forage and procreate
To make sense of the melancholia
To simply survive the night
But life has always been hard
This is one thing the past has certainly shown
...and further musings of the fool's faith ~
That maybe this is the reason that we've come
Most of us actually believe we've evolved since then
300,000 years under this same sun
We now hunt for sport
And gather only information
The concept of foraging is beyond foreign
We even believe that culture is divided by our nation
Yet daily we're still desperate to divine
Even the atheists among us attempt to possess this power
Whether it be from finding the fastest way home from work
Predicting the weather, or reading the eyes of a lover
We have not changed
...Nor will we.
Even accepting this fate
Will not ease the mind.. nor keep us safe
There is no quarter given for the slave or his hand
Nor power given, divine or otherwise, to monkey or man
Because we are still simple creatures
Whether dwelling in caves, or buying & selling land
And so I sit back, stalking Saturnalia's smile
Who I am betraying myself all the while
ⓒ 2012 Shawn Michael Quinn
Released
Looking up from underneath
Fractured moonlight on the sea
Reflections still look the same to me
As before I went under
And it's peaceful in the deep
Cathedral where you cannot breathe
No need to pray, no need to speak
Now I am under all
And it's breaking over me
A thousand miles down to the sea bed
Found the place to rest my head
(never let me go, never let me go)
And the arms of the ocean are carrying me
And all this devotion was rushing out of me
And the crashes are heaven for a sinner like me
But the arms of the ocean delivered me
Though the pressure's hard to take
It's the only way I can escape
It seems a heavy choice to make
But now I am under, oh and it's breaking over me
A thousand miles down to the sea bed
I found the place to rest my head
(never let me go, never let me go)
And the arms of the ocean are carrying me
(So cold and so sweet)
And all this devotion was rushing out of me
(rushing out of me)
And the crashes are heaven for a sinner like me
But the arms of the ocean delivered me
And it's over and I'm going under
But I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in
Oh, I'm slipping underneath, so, so cold and so sweet
In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold
And all this devotion I never knew at all
And the crashes are heaven for a sinner released
In the arms of the ocean deliver me
(never let me go, never let me go)
(never let me go, never let me go) Deliver me
(never let me go, never let me go)
(never let me go, never let me go) Deliver me
(never let me go, never let me go)
(never let me go, never let me go) Deliver me
(never let me go, never let me go)
And it's over (never let me go, never let me go)
And I'm going under (never let me go, never let me go)
But I'm not giving up (never let me go, never let me go)
I'm just giving in (never let me go, never let me go)
I'm slipping underneath, ooh, so cold and so sweet
Denial Is A Powerful Thing
Let me out, don't tell me everything
Start it out like any other day
Must'a gave the wrong impression
Don't you understand where I belong?
I'm not the one..
Stand again, they say nothing comes for free
And that's the truth, I've been living in a fantasy
Slip and slide ahead trip heaven
Self-denial is such a wonderful & powerful thing
But I'm not the one..
The morning dove sings with two broken wings
Carry me home, I'm not afraid..
The stars in my eyes, with shimmering lights
Carry me home, don't let me fade away..
Stop the press, the kid's light is growing dim
It took a month long slide, then the world came caving in
When you self-destruct you wind up looking for a glimmer of hope
But the writing's on the wall
I'm not the one..
The morning dove sings with two broken wings
Carry me home, I'm not afraid
The stars in my eyes, with shimmering lights
Carry me home, don't let me fade
Just how thick is your skin? (away)
Just how sharp are your teeth?
Oh, you've got a lot to learn
Is there somewhere else that I can win?
Is there something else to start over again?
From the summit's edge to the cutting room floor
I will be afraid no more, no more!
The morning dove sings with two broken wings
Carry me home, I'm not afraid
The stars in my eyes with shimmering lights
Carry me home, don't let me fade
Carry me home, carry me
Opinions Vary
You disgust me O’Connor, you wanna know why you disgust me? [why boss?] Cause you’re a bleeder, you bleed too much, you are a messy bleeder.
I got married to an ugly woman, don't ever do that, it just takes the energy right out of you.
Calling me sir is like putting an elevator in an outhouse, it don't belong.
That dog wont hunt, so cut it the fuck loose.
I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead.
You’re too stupid to have a good time.
Don't eat the big white mint.
Pain don't hurt.
Not Enough
Pick apart, the pieces of your heart
And let me peer inside
Let me in
Where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind
As you do mine...
Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect..
And you can't live like this
You have lost (too much love)
To fear, doubt and distrust (its not enough)
You just threw away the key (to your heart)
You don't get burned (cause nothing gets through)
It makes it easier (easier on you)
But that much more difficult for me
To make you see..
Love ain't fair, so there you are, my love..
Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you, you can't live like this
Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you, you can't live like this
Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
You can't live like this
Love ain't safe
You won't get hurt
If you stay chaste
So you can wait
But I don't wanna waste
My love
Sheep
Forgive my morning coffee rant but I hate shit like this... Life feeds on life, PERIOD. But I suppose circulating this type of crap serves a purpose in making the association between the food we eat and where it comes from, which seems to somehow have gotten lost over the years. These vegans and vegetarians' self-congratulatory bullshit utopian ideals wouldn’t last a week in the real world, ie: nature... Just because society protects you from experiencing what it would be like to fend for yourself doesn’t mean you should forget the sacrifices made on your behalf and act as though you've evolved. As for the guilty of abuse and murder, please, what about what we do to other species, and cultures, and countries, or how about what we allow our government to do to us. Get over yourself and wake up to the fact that we're all Godless Beasts! Nothing less, and definitely nothing more! …Fucking sheep!
And to all my vegan and vegetarian friends who opt not to eat meat for other than these supposed moral reasons, I obviously intend no offense...
Graceless
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn
And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around
All of his questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out
Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out
Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn
And it's hard to dance with the devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back?
It's a fine romance, but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn
And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me (oh whoa)
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me (oh whoa)
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me (oh whoa)
But what the hell, I'm gonna let it happen to me
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