In The All

Enduring, one by one
I empty them all
Clearing the debris
Hollowing the soul
In nothingness
I feel all that I am
all that is me
The oceans within
The things you call you
The things we own
The people we name loved
The things we do
Prove nothing but time
The soul wont be defined
I wont be defined
All that you see is but a glimpse of me
The soul knows only what's free
We go in and out, from stage to stage
We fill in the hole
with decorations (to be explained)
We live and 
Gloat
Whether it be possession
or Personality
In a moment, I sink low
And start to see
That none of it 
was Me
And so I throw it all away
And sell myself poverty
I look around to see nothing
And know that it is me
Confidence comes 
through Nothingness
When we have nothing
We have nothing to lose
We learn fast that we are free
We grow strong again
And pull in that we see
Which resembles the me
Slowly we forget
and turn it to greed
The circle completes
And evolution agrees
I've been stripping the layers
Of this dead skin, turning dust
I've been hollowing out the inside
Learning to trust
..In the nothingness
Seeking out the meaning
Of each moment
Opening myself to the opportunities
Trusting intuition when it comes
Letting go of the clinging needs
I want to know the truth
when I see it
I want to feel love
In everything
I want to see God
In every face
I want to hear the sound of my voice 
Inspiring
Singing its truth
My truth
The truth
Even if its only me 
Who can hear it
In the all 
Is the blessing

ⓒ 2000 Shawn Michael Quinn

Want

Plenty

I sat tonight reading the bible. I couldn't even get through the first section "Matthew." So much fear in it, so much preaching. If all of that was truly spoken by Jesus, I feel more pity for him than ever before. He was so forced to contradict himself just to show people truth, and freedom. So reduced to stories of fear as path to enlightenment. Could he have been so ahead of his time that he was unable to speak his mind without parables?  Even those closest to him could not begin to understand him. He abandoned his own family, and still, all of them, made him a God, betraying him. Judas, probably the only one who may have been able to somewhat understand him, is forever labeled as the one who betrayed him. Could Judas be the only one who did not actually betray him? Who Knows.. One thing is true, Jesus truly suffered possibly more than anyone in history, for our sake. And still, 2000 years later, is understood by so few. All the priests, popes, bishops, and holyrollers, throughout history and today, who swear they understand Jesus most likely still have only a spark of the understanding he had.  Even me, as I sit here pondering these questions, thinking that I see light through all this fear and darkness, am unable to do the things he Jesus did. I am no less man or God than he was, but I still am yet to be able bring forth such light unto myself, much less the whole world. The human race has quite a long way to go before we will be able to truly live the life Jesus lived. Blessed we are to have him as a picture of what we will one day become. Thank you!

I picture thousands of years in one insight. The molding and shaping of the world and the consciousness of its people over the course of time to the way things could be "on earth as they are in heaven." How slowly time progresses.. What a long way we have to go as a people. I know everything happens for a reason and all things are the only way they could be right now, but it has this overwhelming power to sadden me. I pity myself and this world that we cannot all at once snap out of this bullshit and move ourselves to heaven, and live in peace. Self-pity is not good, I know this even as I indulge in it, but why can we not just snap out of it? Patience, I suppose needs to be cultivated in me. As I have enjoyed saying so often recently, I guess I should recite it to myself, "when God created time, he made plenty of it, so what's the hurry? Enjoy each and every now that is present." Maybe if I say that a million times in my head, it might sink in. I suppose I have the time, right?  

All of this is blessed, all of it!

This

Dirty, unsure, human
Never that I can remember
Have I felt this human
I feel real
This pain
Confined in my own body
Without escape
No bath nor shower could clean me
No relief
No release
Existence is absolute
There is nothing else
I feel entirely real
A part of all of this
I imagine my decrepit body
Turned to dust
And blended with the earth
Fertilizer
To give life again
And again
I am all of this
I am all of it
Nothing without me
Me without nothing
The demon and angel
Combined
Divine
Mind, body, heart, and soul
Clean or unclean
I am this
It matters not what conditions define the day
Continuous
Ever continuing
Define and redefine
All of this babbling
Is my sanity
Whatever that means
The glue that barely
Holds me together
I
Am
This

ⓒ 2000 Shawn Michael Quinn

In my head..

You know I'm not dead

You know I'm, you know I'm not dead

You know I'm not dead

Now you know where I've been

As you sleep, torn I am

Weighted down, patiently

Born of love

You know I'm, you know I'm not dead

I'm just living in my head

Forever waiting

On the ways of your desire

You always find a way

And through it all

Into us all, you move

Forgotten touch, forbidden thought

We can never have enough

You know I'm not dead

You know I'm, you know I'm not dead

You know I'm not dead

Found below, he creatures scream

Stranglehold, a God machine

Begging to tear us out

Worn as hope

You know I'm, you know I'm not dead

I'm just the tears inside your head

Forever waiting on the ways of your desire

You always find your way

And through it all, into us all you move

Forgotten touch, forbidden thought

We can never have enough

You know I'm not dead

We all want to hold in the Everlasting Gaze

Enchanted in the rapture of his sentimental sway

But underneath the wheels lie the skulls of every c.o.g.

The fickle fascination of an everlasting God

You know I'm not dead, I'm just living in my head

Forever waiting, forever waiting a cruel death

You know I'm not dead, I'm just living for myself

Forever waiting

You know I'm not dead