Quieted

She believed in a magick

Our magick, my magick..

Even when I'd lost my faith

Even as I questioned it

In myself, and in the world

And in that time she allowed me

To push out the influences

Her influences

Even though she only wanted to give..

To share...

And she shared with me my mother's word

Even after my mother's breath

Had been quieted

And so from then on

We were connected

As though we had always been

And like the so many friendships

That everyday life interferes with..

That distance has its way with..

She quickly became part of the short list

Of the people in this life I truly cherished

And though she was no Buddhist

She resembled the same imperfect beauty

The real life Buddha represented

Loud, full of laughter

And obnoxious confidence

Full of herself, and especially

Forgiving of herself

She knew how to be a real friend

Never shied away from a real conversation

And in those moments of fck-it-wt beauty

The conning smile

Like a gypsy fortune teller

She knew how to fill in the blanks

...with bullshit

But bullshit with purpose..

Fertilizer for the flowers

Of the soul

Of the heart

And of the heart's ambitions

The spiritual path married to life's successes

Without the attachment of anything less than the fulfillment

Of the soul

Of the heart

And of the heart's ambitions

The so many times you tried

To remind me

Of the magick

The magician..

Speaking through the veils of the dead

And now, having joined them

I now know your voice is not just the influence in my head

I loved you Lor..

And I wont forget, as if I could

All the ways you helped me

To become me

And all the beauty that you were

And that you shared

And I promise

Like always, with liar's lips

I will take it all with me

I will remind and remember

To not only cherish

But to hold onto the magick

And to the connections in this life worth cherishing

And make them part of the life

That the distance and everyday life interfere with

Before I lose another chance to say goodbye..

Happy Birthday my old friend

I will miss you.

ⓒ 2011 Shawn Michael Quinn

Of Like MInd

This is my sense of reality

This is proof of my coming of age

This is truth in captivity

This is loosing a theology

I am a soul taker, I'm a cruel witted mind

This is my sense of reality

This is proof of my coming of age

I'm a soul taker, I'm a cruel witted mind

Are you with me, are you of like mind?

Are you with me, are you of like mind?

Waking, falling, free of gravity

We just severed these umbilical wires

This is more than just affinity

We're moving further through an endless design

I'm a soul taker, I'm a cruel witted mind

Come again, I feel a breakdown, let's go higher

This is the sound of your reason to wake

Have we forgotten now? Can we relate?

It's backwards, it makes no sense

So real that we can't pretend

It's backwards, it makes no sense

It's harder to just pretend

Say it once more, say it again

That this is the end of all I know

Say it once more, say it again

That this is the end of all I know

Are you with me? (Can we relate?)

Are you of like mind? 

Are you with me? (Can we relate?)

Are you of like mind?

Say it once more, say it again

That this is the end of all I know

Say it once more, say it again

That this is the end of all I know

2011 Soundtrack

The Carnivale

Eye of the Storm

Where the Light is Strong..

Yeah, what that says...

Four Years

 

For this may the voodoo curse us

What we've had, four years

But don't act like we didn't know

As revelries his crown hen

It is we who see black like the crow

Sometimes it feels good to open my heart

Just to know you're not alone

Sometimes you're making some show

Even though you're not alone

Let's get, let's get loose, let's let loose and forget

Let loose and forget

You've beaten marriage, beaten marriage

Yeah

Whispers from the Grave

Ninja

Couples Therapy

Don't act like you can't act,

I always think you do it
You better learn to shake hands, and treat me like your mother
Don't act like you can't act, stand up like a man
You better learn to shake hands, and treat me like your mother
You came up too late, you came up too late now
You came up, too late to do a thing..

Come on look me in the eye, you wanna try to tell a lie?
I'll bet you can't and you know why? I'm just like your mother..
Look me in the eye now, you wanna try to tell a lie?
You can't and you know why? I'm just like your mother..
You came up too late, you came up too late now
You came up too late, play dumb, play dead, play straight..

Who's got it figured out? Who's got it figured out?
Play straight, time to manipulate
M-a-n-i-p-u-late x M-a-n-i-p-u-late
M-a-n-i-p-u-late x M-a-n-i-p-u-late
Am I too, Am I late, Am I too, Am I late
Am I, Am I, am I, Am I, Am I too, Late
Who's got it figured out? Left right, left right, got it figured out
Who's got it figured out.. play straight!

Stand up like a man, you better learn to shake hands
Look me in the eye now, and treat me like your mother
Come on, look me in the eye, you wanna try to tell a lie?
You can't and you know why? I'm just like your mother
Play dumb, play dead, tryin' to manipulate
You blink when you breathe and you breathe when you lie
You blink when you lie
You blink when you breathe and you breathe when you lie
You blink when you lie
You blink when you breathe and you breathe when you lie
You blink when you lie

Who's got it figured out? Left right, left right got it figured out
Who's got it figured out? Play straight, tryin' to manipulate
Who's got it figured out? Left, left right, left right left right
Who's got it figured out? Play straight, tryin' to manipulate
You blink when you breathe and you breathe when you lie
You blink when you lie 
Who's got it figured out?
Play straight!

Hissing The Gifts

This death-cracked creature

Lying on the sidewalk as I open my car door

Broken neck cracked on a windshield

Or a building wall

Did it know this day was its day to die?

Will any of us know when it’s our day to die?

Death sits like Satan’s parakeet

Resting its weary bones

Upon my shoulder

Whispering the word loss into my weaknesses

Further

Into my fire, into my spirit

Attempting to frighten me

Into submission… Into defiance…

Or into this voice

And so the Funeral songs begin to play in my head

Dylan in is Long Black Coat

Cohen in his Secret Life

Lanegan in his Kingdoms of Rain

Because I know the fear makes us push it away

Call it morbid, even call it sin…

It makes us focus on any other distraction

Instead of the sign that's showing us the way

I watched a band of circling crows covet a hissing possum with his guts hanging out, dying slow, while walking my dog on a sunny Los Angeles Monday morning

I watched a young man get hit by a white van only to stand right up and collapse back down like a rubber band on 23rd street while carrying my lunch back to an office on a Tuesday afternoon

And I watched a big brown rat get run over by a car twice and still crawl to die in his gutter in familiar waters on 3rd street and Avenue B while eating magic mushrooms on a raining Friday evening

Because Death is already knocking at the door

Ready to take away everything you think that matters

And more

Whispering loss into the fiber of all you think you are

To the very core

Showing you the mirror

The fear inside it all

Dressed up in all its gore

To awaken the dream of truly living whatever time you have left

If nothing else, THIS should be the lure!

And I am afraid of dying, or at least of dying anytime soon

Of missing out on my daughters ordinary moments

But more for her, of her not having her father
To share these all too coveted
Death-cracked moments

So when someone tells you they hope you die

And the hypocrisy in their false positive demeanor

Ultimately shows its ugly side

Let the offense only appall you for moments

And let the fear creep its head in for the best

Because in a world like this

You have to take from everything

All that you're able to get

In order to

Separate the butterfly
From the locust’s nest

The responsibility is solely yours

Because from the way I see it

Most people are shit
Rodents roaming..

Worthy of nothing more than the fucking tarpits

Believing their life really means something

Only because their lives are coveted

They've been born into comfort and laziness

And never groomed the where-with-all

To ever contemplate outshadowing it

Because Death is already knocking at their doors

But they push it away

Kicking and screaming

Spitting

Constantly
Hissing the gift

ⓒ 2011 Shawn Michael Quinn

Dreaming Light

Suddenly, life has new meaning
Suddenly, feeling is being
And you shine inside
And love stills my mind like the sunrise
Dreaming light of the sunrise

Suddenly, I don't have to be afraid
Suddenly, it all falls into place
And you shine inside
And love stills my mind like the sunrise
Dreaming light of the sunrise
Dreaming light
And you shine inside
And love stills my mind like the sunrise
Dreaming light of the sunrise

I feel you, but I don't really know you
I dreamed of you from the moment I saw you
And I've seen the sunrise in your eyes
The sky, the sea, the light

Live your dream beneath the northern horizon
Be at peace, set your heart in flight again
For the light is truth
The light is you

Until the sea shall free them..

"And Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water

And he spent a long time watching from his lonely wooden tower

And when he knew for certain only drowning men could see him

He said all men will be sailors then until the sea shall free them

But he himself was broken, long before the sky would open

Forsaken, almost human, he sank beneath your wisdom like a stone

And you want to travel with him, and you want to travel blind

And then you think maybe you'll trust him

For he's touched your perfect body with his mind"

~Leonard Cohen

Antagonists Move

Sitting at the bar with bricks in my chest
Nervously sipping my 1st beer
The act attack as my koolaid drinking friends would call it
This anxiety envelopes me
Takes over me
Its the night of reading number 2
5 months after reading number one
And I've chose "The American Writer" as my piece for the evening
As if to remind me to speak gently
No aggression
No violence
No ambition
No judgement
Simplistic style of heart
And expression
Still the possibility of opinions overpower me
The image I desire to project
Is threatened
Subconscious becomes conscious
And it becomes that much more threatened
Logic of tonights insignificance to the world means nothing to this cornered animal
Its turning my stomach
Trying to make me shit
Or vomit
But the irishman in me doesn't fall victim to the latter
And so my ass tends to feel like my bladder
The music playing in the bar scene helps me feel laid back, inspired and relaxed
Even though I've no idea who is singing
My first guess would be simple minds
It reminds me of "Bring Out The Dancing Horses"
I want to wear the word like a vest
Wear the world like a badge on my chest
Like the silly Beats of yesteryear
But too I'm reminded that they not unlike me

Became overwhelmed by the fear in the readings
Enough to get wasted prior to reading
Enough to get belligerent during the reading
I suppose these thoughts well enough for me to reason away
They circle til I find ways to wash them away
Logic
Logic and reason
Logic and reason and justification
They water the anxiety down 
Just like the red stripe is as I swallow it down
Writers
Readers
Poets
Seekers
Lost souls circling same waters
Looking for camaraderie
Or notoriety
Whichever pays more
Or first
Anything to justify the ways that time is wasted in their existence
Success tends to shut people the fuck up
But it shouldn't matter anyway

ⓒ 2011 Shawn Michael Quinn

Just

There are quiet days

Where the world just goes by

With me just watching

Sunny days

Rainy days

Overcast days

It really doesn't matter

I'm just happy to poke my head in

And smile

Being happy

Just knowing

That I am happy

Yes, things go wrong

Work gets stressful..

And relationships are rarely easy

And life loads me up with responsibilities

But that is life

This is what I was born into

But my own happiness is only up to me

My little Sofia lights up my eyes

And days like today

I know I'm a lucky man

Just to be alive

I love this little blue world

And I love this little girl

Its good to stop and smell life

From time to time

To appreciate all you have

Even if you think you have nothing

Because it’s these moments in between

That define

This silly little thing

Called living

ⓒ 2011 Shawn Michael Quinn

One of a Kind

"One night I saw Gandhi kiss and old whore while she lie drunk in the Bowery gutter.  Walt Whitman came by and kissed Gandhi.  The old whore got up on her feet singing."

"One cannot be a teacher. Each one must go through the fire."

"America has never been discovered, it has been seduced."

"Walking at dusk as the light turns, you can feel the world turn with you."

"You got to be alive inside. You got to have juice. you got to learn to sing your own song. You got to sing it loud and clear. You cant be afraid to be yourself, to find your sound. Go out into the unknown, find your muse, the Gods are still there, walk out into the night and dance and talk to the moon."

Wintersun

Can't stop the hurt
Can't stop the bleeding
I am invisible
Can't stop the thoughts
Nor the feeling
I don't exist at all
But when you call my name
Do you feel the same way?
That were trapped in time?
We're both living a lie
Hey, hey, ahh ahhh... 

Yeah, yeah, ahh ahhh... 

I live in a tower
Of my own creation
I am indivisible
From the thoughts that make up all my memories
Transcendental
But when you call my name

Do you feel the same way

That were trapt in time

We're both living a lie

Hey, hey, ahh ahhh... 

Yeah, yeah, ahh ahhh... 

Many days have come and gone

Since the day I was born

And the autumn of life has finally come...

With the promise of winter 

Thorns..

The Other Side of The Circle

Her eyes sometimes smile to me

Through a cloud off in the distance

She is as unreachable to me

As my longing is

In the absence

And I watch the mechanics work

On the machines of time

So I’ve come to understand

The only way to communicate this longing to her

Is through these lines

And sometimes these tasteless little fantasies

Are all I have left to get me by

I know that you’re gone

And I even know why

But that doesn’t help me convince my heart

To stop wishing you were here

To stop longing to hold you near

But there will come a time

Through the bend and the bold

Through the lines of my face

As I’ve gotten old

And even as I look forward to the day

I know I’m not ready yet

And so she and then

Get held at bay

We all hold on to places of the past

We all forget in the moments present

That they were never meant to last

We watched the world fight

And like wild beasts, we mirrored it

And although we reconciled it

The so many times

We never truly overcame it

I promise you

With liar’s lips

That the next chance we get

I’ll not forget this

Because you are my image of hope

In a world that so often proves hopeless

ⓒ 2011 Shawn Michael Quinn