From Miles Away..

What is it that I think I need?
Is there a love in me that wants to be freed?
Or is it selfishness and ego
We carry with us everywhere that we go?
This feeling that life's incomplete
Do you feel that too?
Do you want what I want?
And if I should start to cry,
And I can't begin to tell you why,
And I stumble when I begin,
It's cause I don't understand anything...

People say that we're so close,
How can there be something that I don't know?
Oh but even though I share your bed,
Baby, I don't get inside your head..
This feeling of some mystery
Do you feel that too?
Do you know what I mean?
And if I should start to cry
And I can't begin to tell you why
And I stumble when I begin
It's cause I don't understand anything.

Watch me stumble, watch me trip
My fingers loose their grip
Now I'm down on my knees
Is that what you wanted to see?

What is it that I think I need?
What is it that I think I need?
And if I should start to cry
And I can't begin to tell you why
And I stumble when I begin
It's cause I don't understand anything
And if I should start to cry
And I can't begin to tell you why
And I stumble when I begin
It's cause I don't understand anything

You reach for me
....from miles away
You reach for me
.........from miles away
What is it that I think I need?
What is it that I think I need?

Heaven Sent

I used to worry about the future

But then I threw my caution to the wind

I had no reason to be care free, no, no, no

I feel the thunder, see the lightning

I know this anger's heaven sent

So I've got to hang out all my hang-ups

It's just an instant gut reaction

I never ever felt like this before

I don't know what to do

But then that's nothing new

Stuck between hell and high water

I need a cure to make it through

Only the wind can blow the answer

And she cries to me when I'm asleep

She says you know that you can go much faster

I know that peoples' talk can be so cheap

I got this voodoo child in veined on me

I'm gonna use my power to ascend

1999 Soundtrack

Splinters

"You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up."

"What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life. That there’s something wrong with the world, you don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad."

"It is everywhere, all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television, you can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. What truth? That you are a slave, like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch, a prison for your mind."

“What is 'real'? How do you define 'real'? If you’re talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, taste and see then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”

"Most people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it."

"Pay no attention to these hypocrites. To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human."

"A déjà vu is usually a glitch in the matrix. It happens when they change something."

"You have to let it all go, fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind!"

Read, and Manifested!

Today, everything was fine, fine, fine

Until roundabout, quarter to nine, suddenly found myself in a bind

Was it something I said? 

Something I read and manifested that's getting you down?

Don't you dare come to bed with that ambiguous look in your eye

I'd sooner sleep by an open fire and wake up fried

Say what you will, say what you mean

No, you could never offend, your dirty words come out clean

Tomorrow, what price will I pay?

Could I make it all up to you by serving coffee for two in bed?

Would you then give me the time of day?

I need a map of your head translated into English

So I can learn not to make you frown

You'd feel better if you'd vent

Put your frustrations into four letter words

And let them out on mine, the most weathered ears in town

So say what you will, say what you mean

No, you could never offend, your dirty words come out clean

But I Believe In Peace, Bitch!

So I want to kill this waitress
She's worked here for a year longer than I
If I did it fast, you know that's an act of kindness..
But I believe in peace, I believe in peace, Bitch!
I believe in peace, I believe in peace
I believe in peace, I believe in peace, Bitch!
I believe in peace...

I want to kill this waitress
I can't believe this violence in mind
And is her power all in her club sandwich?
I believe in peace, I believe in peace, Bitch!
Oh I believe in peace, I believe in peace
I believe in peace, I believe in peace, Bitch!
I believe in peace...

I want to kill this killing wish
They're too many stars and not enough sky..
Boys all think she's living kindness
Ask a fellow waitress, ask a fellow waitress..

Tori Amos, 1994

Believing They Are Free..

There is lambs wool under my naked feet
The wool is soft and warm
Gives off some kind of heat
A salamander scurries into flame to be destroyed
Imaginary creatures are trapped in birth on celluloid
The fleas cling to the golden fleece
Hoping they'll find peace
Each thought and gesture are caught in celluloid
There's no hiding in their memory
There's no room to avoid

The crawlers cover the floor in the red ochre corridor
From my second sight of people, they've more lifeblood than before
They're moving in time to a heavy wooden door
Where the needle's eye is winking, closing on the poor
The carpet crawlers heed their callers
We've got to get in to get out
We've got to get in to get out
We've got to get in to get out

There's only one direction in the faces that I see
Its upward to the ceiling, where the chamber's said to be
Like the forest fight for sunlight, that takes root in every tree
They are pulled up by the magnet, believing they are free
The carpet crawlers heed their callers
We've got to get in to get out
We've got to get in to get out
We've got to get in to get out

Mild-mannered supermen are held in kryptonite
And the wise and foolish virgins giggle with their bodies glowing bright
Through the door a harvest feast is lit by candlelight
Its the bottom of a staircase that spirals out of sight
The carpet crawlers heed their callers
We've got to get in to get out
We've got to get in to get out
The carpet crawlers heed their callers
We've got to get in to get out
We've got to get in to get out
...To get out

Almost

 

Almost brave, almost breaking down

somewhere in between

not yet quite beyond

vanilla

Daily Death

I die everyday

But as it seems the next day

There is enough of me to continue

Every night before I sleep

I pray not to wake again

The next morning when I awake

I know I found reasons to go on

But I’m unable to remember them

We shed cells everyday

They say we are literally not the same people

We were years ago

I remember him

I am glad he is gone

I took what I needed and moved on

I am my own parasite

I will continue regardless

Tonight part of me will die

But enough of me will continue

And some time from now

He will have taken my place

My wish will have come true

Slowly but surely

… I now have hope

ⓒ 1999 Shawn Michael Quinn

Let it pass, let it go, let it leave

"This old familiar craving

I've been here before, this way of behaving

Don't know who the hell I'm saving anymore

Let it pass, let it go, let it leave

From the deepest place, I grieve

This time I believe

And I let go.."

All My Sisters

All

 

And I could hardly move.

For All To See

 

My pain is self-chosen, at least so the prophet says

I could either burn or cut off my pride and buy some time

A head full of lies is the weight tied to my waist

The river of deceit pulls down

The only direction we flow is down

My pain is self-chosen, at least I believe it to be

I could either drown or pull off my skin and swim to shore

Now I can grow a beautiful shell for all to see

Controlled Folly

Old Armor

Join in my, join in my child

And listen, I've been digging through 

My old numb shadow...

My shadow's shedding skin

I've been picking scabs again

Up, down, digging through

My old muscles, looking for a clue

I've been crawling on my belly

Clearing out what could've been

I've been wallowing in my own 

Confused insecure delusions

For a peace to cross me over

Or a word to guide me in

I wanna feel the changes coming down

I wanna know what I've been hiding

In my shadow, my shadow

Change is coming through my shadow

My shadow's shedding skin

I've been picking my scabs again

Join in my, join in my child 

As my shadow moves closer to meaning

I've been crawling on my belly

Clearing out what could've been

I've been wallowing in my own

Chaotic insecure delusions

I wanna feel the change consume me

Feel the outside turning in

I wanna feel the metamorphosis

And cleansing I've endured in

My shadow, my shadow

Change is coming, now is my time

Listen to my muscle memory

Contemplate what I've been clinging to

Forty-six & 2 ahead of me

I choose to live and to grow

Take and give and to move

Learn and love and to cry

Kill and die and to be 

Paranoid and to lie

Hate and fear and to 

Do what it takes to move through

I choose to live and to lie

Kill and give and to die

Learn and love and to do

What it takes to step through

See my shadow changing

Stretching up and over me

Soften this old armor

Hoping I can clear the way

By stepping through my shadow

Coming out the other side

Step into the shadow

Forty-six & 2 are just ahead of me

Fearless

 

A Murder..

Blue morning, blue morning, wrapped in strands of fist and bone
Curiosity, kitten, doesn't have to mean you're on your own..
You can look outside your window, he doesn't have to know
We can talk a while, baby, we can take it nice and slow..
All your life is such a shame, shame, shame
All your love is just a dream, dream, dream..

Well, are you happy where you're sleepin'?
Does he keep you safe and warm?
Does he tell you when you're sorry?
Does he tell you when you're wrong?
Well I've been watching you for hours
It's been years since we were born
We were perfect when we started
I've been wondering where we've gone
All your life is such a shame, shame, shame
All your love is just a dream, dream, dream

Well, I dreamt I saw you walking up a hillside in the snow
Casting shadows on the winter sky, as you stood there counting crows
1 for sorrow, 2 for joy, 3 for girls and 4 for boys
5 for silver, 6 for gold, 7 for a secret never to be told..
There's a bird that nests inside you, sleeping underneath your skin
Yeah, when you open up your wings to speak, I wish you'd let me in
All your life is such a shame, shame, shame
All your love is just a dream, dream, dream
Open up your eyes, you can see the flames, flames, flames
Of your wasted life, you should be ashamed..
Ah, you don't want to waste your life, baby
You don't wanna waste your life, now darlin'
You don't wanna waste your life, baby
You don't wanna waste your life, now darlin'
Oh, you don't wanna waste your life, now babe
I said, "You don't wanna waste your life, now darlin'"
Oh, you don't wanna waste your life, now baby
Oh, you don't wanna, you don't wanna waste your life, now darlin'
Change, change, change
Change, change, change
Change, change, change

I walk along these hillsides in the summer 'neath the sunshine
I am feathered by the moonlight falling down on me
I said, "I walk along these hillsides in the summer 'neath the sunshine
I am feathered by the moonlight falling down on me"
I said, "I will walk along these hillsides
In the summer 'neath the sunshine
I am feathered by the moonlight falling down on me"
I said, "I will walk along these hillsides
In the summer 'neath the sunshine
I Am feathered by the moonlight"
Change, change, change
Change, change, change yeah!
Change, change, change
Oh change, change, yeah!!!
Oh, change, change, change
Oh, change, change, change
Change, change, change change
Change, change, change, change, change!

From the fall of a leaf..