The Feeling

It was a cold day in April

Not quite yet spring

The sky seemed often overcast

Matching my drifting moods in those recurring days

I could feel the coldness in my cheeks

And perhaps that’s all

I understood that it was time again

I knew that things had somehow changed

Not by some choice

But by simple recognition

I had somehow managed to outgrow my own life

Again

Things soon fell into their natural order

And life became increasingly quieter

I knew that I too

Had changed

Months passed

And I’d spent much of them alone

Finding simple ways to occupy my time

Never feeling quite at home

I’d sometimes struggle

For meaning

For some stretch of understanding

But it made no difference

I’d even sometimes fiddle with hope

I waited for some moment of precognition

But nothing came

And eventually I’d forget

My preoccupation

And became immersed in

New distractions…

New ways

Of living life…

Daily life…

And little haunted me in those coming days

And those feelings slowly faded away

Many years have passed since then

And I can’t say I’d even recognize him

But retrospect shows the many dips in the road

And I can say with some clarity

That no matter what we feel

In those eras, what’s real

Is all lack of logical understanding

When this world opened me up

It was for me to fill the cup

And I may never know what it all meant

But what I’m truly left with is

That sometimes what’s important

Is just the feeling

ⓒ 2010 Shawn Michael Quinn