Fading Oblivion

I watch them fade

Back into the distance

Back to where they probably came from

Back to where they belong

Satellites drifting

Into their clusters

Into their likeness

Into oblivion…

And I’m not sorry, and I’m not sad

Because it’s been so long now that it’s felt this way

That I couldn’t begin to pretend to feel bad

And I'm reminded of Whitman

Not to mock them for their humanity

But I'm literally disgusted by the hypocrisy

The impotent façade of positivity

Forgetting the balance of both

Yes, even the negativity

You who claim to understand karma

You who claim ‘allergy’ to drama

You’ve created a safe haven, a nest

A dream getaway for today, at best

You’ve become but a shadow

Of all you once were

A child, full of breath, and alive

With passion, with heart

Yes, one who often bled

But one who always seemed to understand

That therein was the art

And only I have watched you

Through the linear and non-linear years

Putting in all that valid work

Trying so hard… just to get here…

Your medicines, your years of therapy

Your religion and your science

This brood to which you bachelor

This mask to which you’ve mastered

This divinity to which you’ve doctored

Show me one person, just one person

That it’s truly healed

Not helped, but healed…

Not worshipping the supposed anecdotes and trials

Nor left addicted to its candy, the ever-welcoming denial

Because the true healing happens

Only in the subconscious mind

Inside the deepest of emotional tides

But your definition of help is relative

And your meds, so much more than contraceptive

Crutches: the toolbox, the carpenter, and the cross

Useful ways to explain the unwanted away

Sacrificing so much beauty

As acceptable loss

You’ve forgotten so much of who you truly are

Forgotten the passion, the truth, the heart

Lost even your ability to write

Believing to your soul

In the methods, the might

That they actually possessed the power

To make everything alright

That this trusted wand was yours to wield

To abolish all of that deep-rooted fear

To make each moment of doubt, the most

But ‘-did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?

And what have you found?
Yeah, the same old fears…

…wish you were here…-’ (pf)

And as it suits you, I can take the blame

The belief demolitionist is a mask I wear

With pride, not with shame

I tear it all down like the beast I am

Because that’s what I do

It’s what I’ve been gifted & able to do

And yes, I choose to enjoy it as much as I can

But you can call me by name

Because I accept my nature

My failures and strengths, the same

I don't hurt people for fun

I shoot fire in attempts to wake them

Often yes, by tearing them down

Not out of some writhing angst

But from this place, is love

ⓒ 2010 Shawn Michael Quinn