Sitting In Time

For more than 20 years

This ghost haunts me

In my dreams

And my tasteless fantasies

…But she’s gone

And has been

For so long

Without a trace

Aged

And so now without a face

And as I shower

Or as I drive to work

As I eat my breakfast

And as I reflect quietly, alone

On relationships, or simply life

Her name floats

Across my minds contemplations

My curiosities

And after all these years

My biggest question remains:

What could I possibly be holding on to?

And more importantly, why?

What is in this attachment that I can’t even identify?

I remember the very first moment

We made eye contact

Walking home from school

On her first day

She was so shy

Is that what caught my eye?

It’s been over 20 years

And I don’t even know if she’s alive

But why?

Why is it that I hold on?

Why is this memory, this connection, different from all the rest?

Is it that I can’t let go?

Is it that I never had closure

When she moved away?

Would I, were I to see her again

Even like her today?

Why has she never reached out to me?

Because here I am

Sitting in time

And as I've always built myself

Easy to find...

ⓒ 2006 Shawn Michael Quinn